I Don't Wanna Go Home

So, it's been a while since I've been triggered. I have to say that it's a much more reasonable experience as an adult than as a teen. I've been spending some quality time re-visiting my childhood and my healing process through witnessing the same or similar events as I support my Sweet Girl.

Anyway, I had a good cry and released a good chunk of fear and dread and hurt that was still lurking around. I had a chat with Mum the next morning and had a 5-minute healing session (from the A of my PAC team for once). It feels so different to be able to just work through this and let it go. I didn't think we'd ever get to this point.

*heh* I just realized that we finally made it to the end of the book. Go figure.

Well, in the spirit of healing and because I'm in such a songly mood lately, here's another song that Sinead gave me to keep in my healing room.

Red Football
Sinead O'Connor

I'm not no red football
To be kicked around the garden
I'm a red christmas-tree ball
And I'm fragile

I'm not no animal
Though I am to you
I'm not no crocodile
Like the one in Dublin Zoo
Who lived in a cage
the length and breadth of his body
With a window which people would look through
And throw coins on his back to taunt him
'though he couldn't move
Even if he wanted to

I'm not no animal in the zoo
I'm not no whipping boy for you
You may not treat me like you do
I'm not no animal in the zoo

My skin is not a football for you
My head is not a football for you
My body's not a football for you
My womb is not a football for you
My heart is not a football for you

I'm not no animal in the zoo
This animal will jump up and eat you
I'm not no animal in the zoo
And I've every intention
Of leaping up and getting you